Depression and Anxiety

[Bullfrog]

Of course, that's sort of a worst-case, unable to function scenario. Like I was saying, that's when depression is in control of your life. That's what you can't let happen.

Very true, because when it takes control, it's hard to break out of. I lost a lot of opportunity to develop friends and life-long relationships due to being that passenger. Even your good friends get tired of being turned down after awhile.

It can be so confusing at times. I wanted to go out, i wanted to have fun, I wanted all that stuff, but i couldn't, i just couldn't. It's strange, because I can usually reason my way through most things. Yet even though I knew I should just try, knew what I wanted, the apathy takes over.

That was always my biggest problem as a teenager and young 20-something, the apathy. The depression I suffer know, from time-to-time, is generally milder and somewhat different.

 

[sucka]

This is not at all intended to be a facetious question, and relates more to the depression than anxiety.

What happens if you let him drive? With depression, once that guy is driving, wouldn't you just not care?

My wife thinks I may be depressed, but I don't see it. Is it that I don't care to because I really am? How would I know, and why would I care if I'm depressed?

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not....I simply don't know. You know?

I'm kind of with you... My wife thinks the same about me but how do I know? I'm not prepared to do anything about it either. Is the belief that I don't need help part of the problem?

Ditto on what Nik said.  When it happens you will definately know it.  It's not the same as blowing your kids' college funds at the tables and then stewing about how you're going to tell the wife.  I mean, it could set it off.  It's funny cuz while i was going through it, i couldn't recall what it felt to be normal, but now that i am for the most part fine, i can vividly recall what it felt like.  I can only speak of my own experience.  It's a blanket of dread and darkness like no other and it becomes debilitating to the point where even simple tasks seem monumental.  It's becomes a great deal just to brush your teeth in the morning.  Someone mentioned the bleak outlook...that feeling just pervades all that you do.  You lose interest in just about EVERYTHING, perhaps except to self diagnose, and try as you might you just can't shake it off.  Fear that you will lose your friends and you'll be all alone.  And this is just the 'inside' part...nevermind the physical manifestations - can't eat, and feeling like you need to vomit after a few mouthfuls.  Constant lump and sinking feeling in your chest.  Sleep 2 hours a night for days on end.  Presence of a low fever, but no one can detect it (falls in normal range).  I was also getting very noticable shakes in my hands along with intermittent heart palpitations...sometimes nervously fast, sometimes painfully slow.  I even had symptoms consistent with STD's, or urinary tract infection, although i was 100% sure i didn't and doctors did enough tests to rule everything out.  Doctors asked me to do an HIV test and for 2 weeks I even convinced myself the possibility i might have gotten HIV from prior GF or something...also ruled out.  My condition was all i thought about and it totally consumed me for several months and i was left extremely exhausted and eventually not caring what happened to me.  I stopped grooming and went to work everday looking pretty disheveled, it just took too much effort.  At work i would just stare at the screen cuz i wouldn't know where to start.  My brain felt foggy and it was very hard to think especially if it involved multiple steps.  Brain and body felt numb...slightly fuzzy.  Everything feels surreal.  yeah, i think i covered it.

 

[moon111]

Would anyone have advice for someone dealing with loved ones who are depressed? 

 

[maplesyrup]

This is not at all intended to be a facetious question, and relates more to the depression than anxiety.

What happens if you let him drive? With depression, once that guy is driving, wouldn't you just not care?

My wife thinks I may be depressed, but I don't see it. Is it that I don't care to because I really am? How would I know, and why would I care if I'm depressed?

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not....I simply don't know. You know?

I'm kind of with you... My wife thinks the same about me but how do I know? I'm not prepared to do anything about it either. Is the belief that I don't need help part of the problem?

Ditto on what Nik said.  When it happens you will definately know it.  It's not the same as blowing your kids' college funds at the tables and then stewing about how you're going to tell the wife.  I mean, it could set it off.  It's funny cuz while i was going through it, i couldn't recall what it felt to be normal, but now that i am for the most part fine, i can vividly recall what it felt like.  I can only speak of my own experience.  It's a blanket of dread and darkness like no other and it becomes debilitating to the point where even simple tasks seem monumental.  It's becomes a great deal just to brush your teeth in the morning.  Someone mentioned the bleak outlook...that feeling just pervades all that you do.  You lose interest in just about EVERYTHING, perhaps except to self diagnose, and try as you might you just can't shake it off.  Fear that you will lose your friends and you'll be all alone.  And this is just the 'inside' part...nevermind the physical manifestations - can't eat, and feeling like you need to vomit after a few mouthfuls.  Constant lump and sinking feeling in your chest.  Sleep 2 hours a night for days on end.  Presence of a low fever, but no one can detect it (falls in normal range).  I was also getting very noticable shakes in my hands along with intermittent heart palpitations...sometimes nervously fast, sometimes painfully slow.  I even had symptoms consistent with STD's, or urinary tract infection, although i was 100% sure i didn't and doctors did enough tests to rule everything out.  Doctors asked me to do an HIV test and for 2 weeks I even convinced myself the possibility i might have gotten HIV from prior GF or something...also ruled out.  My condition was all i thought about and it totally consumed me for several months and i was left extremely exhausted and eventually not caring what happened to me.  I stopped grooming and went to work everday looking pretty disheveled, it just took too much effort.  At work i would just stare at the screen cuz i wouldn't know where to start.  My brain felt foggy and it was very hard to think especially if it involved multiple steps.  Brain and body felt numb...slightly fuzzy.  Everything feels surreal.  yeah, i think i covered it.

Man, that's rough. Sorry to hear. 

 

[Tigger]

I've discussed elements of my personal/family life with a few folks from this board/old board. Both my mother and father have suffered from depression, my mom clinical, my dad probably but stubborn and formidable in his approach to combating it.

I think I have a sense of the 'culture' of depression more than actually being depressed though it took me an awfully long time and a fair investment learning the family history to figure out the jigsaw puzzle, well as best as I have anyways. Before that was a pretty confusing and frustrating few decades, not knowing why I had these feelings nor their origins.

That's not 'blame' talking either, fwiw.

I worry for my daughter a bit, she's smart as whip but already has shown a few signs. It's a tough go. Being aware of it seems to be a key to keep it in check. Developing some kind of conscious awareness of what Jung refers to as the 'shadow' helped me some, even more so once I understood the context of my own backstory more fully.

 

[sucka]

Would anyone have advice for someone dealing with loved ones who are depressed?

For me, I was filled with an emptiness inside.  That's another feeling i should have mentioned in my prior post becuase it was very central to what i was feeling.  Very empty...I would suggest that you help you this person by perhaps doing more social things, maybe as simply as jogging together.  Try joining social groups that focus on things he/she was interested in, fill that void inside.  Be a part of the action, not as observers.  Be there to let him talk about it.  For me, i think there was a link between lack of sleep and depression, and they just fed each other in a vicious cycle.  Maybe take them away to an idyllic fishing trip, but keep him busy with things to do - pitch the tent, start fire, cook etc.  but give plenty of time to sleep in and as much as he needs (although i've heard of others who sleep alot due to depression).

 

[Tigger]

Yeah sucka, do the little things socially and encourage sleep. Defer causes for argument where possible too, well not always but, y'know?

 

[Bullfrog]

Yeah sucka, do the little things socially and encourage sleep. Defer causes for argument where possible too, well not always but, y'know?

That's a touchy one too, because while I knew I was suffering, the last thing I ever wanted was to be treated with kid gloves. It just reinforces that you're "broken." That's how it was for me.

 

[Bullfrog]

Would anyone have advice for someone dealing with loved ones who are depressed?

One thing to remember is that while they can take steps to alleviate it and get well, it's still somewhat out of their control. Never tell them to "snap out of it." I was told that a few times. I felt like screaming. Believe me, people suffering from depression want nothing more than to snap out of it, but it doesn't happen like that. It's like asking someone with cancer to shake it off.

One thing I might suggest is trying to do stuff with them without trying to force them. Tread gently in suggestions. Taking walks is a great idea because the exercise, sunshine, and companionship is exactly what a depressed person needs.

 

[Tigger]

Yeah sucka, do the little things socially and encourage sleep. Defer causes for argument where possible too, well not always but, y'know?

That's a touchy one too, because while I knew I was suffering, the last thing I ever wanted was to be treated with kid gloves. It just reinforces that you're "broken." That's how it was for me.

I agree there's a balance and that reinforcement should be discouraged. I don't see anything wrong with a blemish on the sidelines, that's life.

 

[hockeyfan1]

I posted this here:  http://tmlfans.ca/community/former-leafs-ex-files/wade-belak-found-dead/

http://tmlfans.ca/community/former-leafs-ex-files/wade-belak-found-dead/


Talks about depression sports-related, yet can apply to everyday life and situations.  One things for sure:  too much medication can also complicate a person's already delicate mental health state.  No one ever mentions how prescription drugs can have untold side-effects and make the symptoms of what one suffers all the more worse. 


Everyone needs some medication from time to time, but, it seems that it is being either overdone, or over-prescribed.  There are different ways of dealing with mental health issues, and drugs aren't always the best mode of treatment.


I remember having read about Canadian actress Margot Kidder, who became famous for her role as "Lois Lane" opposite the late Christopher Reeves, in the "Superman" films.  She was depressed for several years, then became a manic depressive, to the point where she began mutilating herself to the point of being near-suicidal.  She had been prescribed medication after medication, to the point where these medications actually enhanced her problems rather than curtailing them.


Out of desperation, upon the advice of a friend, she sought the help of the late Abram Hoffer, a B.C. doctor specializing in orthomollecular medicine (still very much an unknown area in today's medical circles), who categorized her as having 'deficiencies' (mineral) and other "deficiencies', took her immediately off of the prescription medications, and in essence, to make a long story extremely short, cured her of her mental illness.


Today, (this happened a few years ago), she is a happy and proud grandmother of a hockey-playing grandson, exhibiting not a single mental health problem.


Perhaps this is a bit of a 'rarity, not necessarily that everyone would benefit from orthomollecular medicine a la the late Hoffer, who was the best in this field of study, but, it wouldn't hurt to at least find out or provide people with alternatives in lieu of drugs that may not always be the best therapy available.

 

[Rick C.]

My depression and suicidal tendancies were so bad at one point this summer, I agreed to go for something called ECT - shock treatment.  It's a LOT milder than it is portrayed in TV movies like One Flew Over The Cukoos Nest.  Some famous people who did ECT includes Kitty Dukakis, Terry Bradshaw, and Tammy Wynette.  Usually you do about 12 sessions of ECT, but I had adverse reactions to the anesthetics and had to be intubated twice when I stopped breathing.  I only did 5 sessions, not enough to make a difference.

I'm on a boatload of meds, go weekly for CBT, and meet the psychiatrist every 3 weeks to adjust meds.  Right now the biggest problem is increasing anxiety and panic attacks.  The anxiety is so bad 2 of the last 3 nights I couldn't sleep a wink.  My pillow was soaked with sweat.

Hey - I do really want to thank and applaud those that have spoke out in this thread.  It's good (although bad) to know people like me aren't alone, and we can share what we're going through.

 

[Boston Leaf]

My depression and suicidal tendancies were so bad at one point this summer, I agreed to go for something called ECT - shock treatment.  It's a LOT milder than it is portrayed in TV movies like One Flew Over The Cukoos Nest.  Some famous people who did ECT includes Kitty Dukakis, Terry Bradshaw, and Tammy Wynette.  Usually you do about 12 sessions of ECT, but I had adverse reactions to the anesthetics and had to be intubated twice when I stopped breathing.  I only did 5 sessions, not enough to make a difference.

I'm on a boatload of meds, go weekly for CBT, and meet the psychiatrist every 3 weeks to adjust meds.  Right now the biggest problem is increasing anxiety and panic attacks.  The anxiety is so bad 2 of the last 3 nights I couldn't sleep a wink.  My pillow was soaked with sweat.

Hey - I do really want to thank and applaud those that have spoke out in this thread.  It's good (although bad) to know people like me aren't alone, and we can share what we're going through.

Hang in there Rick. Day at a time.. everything you are talking about is pretty familiar here

 

[TheMightyOdin]

I would be interested to know how you guys are doing in respect to your physical self. Do you engage in regular physical activity? Are you fit or out of shape?

I can relate to a lot of the feelings expressed here back when I was overweight. The combination of nutrition and physical exertion has done wonders for my own personal happiness. I notice, on days that I get my morning workout in, I am in a much better mood throughout the day then days that I take off.

 

[Guru Tugginmypuddah]

I would be interested to know how you guys are doing in respect to your physical self. Do you engage in regular physical activity? Are you fit or out of shape?

I can relate to a lot of the feelings expressed here back when I was overweight. The combination of nutrition and physical exertion has done wonders for my own personal happiness. I notice, on days that I get my morning workout in, I am in a much better mood throughout the day then days that I take off.

I have noticed personally, that if I consume too many carbs, my mood goes right into the toilet.  If I keep to a low carb diet (Dr. Atkins) I feel WAY WAY WAY better, mentally and physically.

 

[TheMightyOdin]

I think simple carbs (sugar) has a profound influence on my mood.

I don't think physical fitness is the answer but maybe it's part of the answer?

 

[Bender]

I think simple carbs (sugar) has a profound influence on my mood.

I don't think physical fitness is the answer but maybe it's part of the answer?

I think there are some studies out there that would corroborate what you're saying.

Yeah, I've gone through these issues before, but moreso in my adolescence. There's a history of depression in my family, I remember losing all interest in school. I had a 50% average in Grade 10 because I was so detached - I just didn't see my life going anywhere. I got out of it eventually and finished Grade 12 with an 85%.

It also came back later on when I was getting random physical ailments that no one could really explain. I had a throat infection that was so bad that I feel like I don't swallow 100% correctly. Others were more explainable: I was diagnosed with Tempomandibular Jaw Disorder (sp?) and started hearing cracks in my jaw joint when I was biting, I also had mild numbness on the left side of my face. For a while I also had some sort of breathing/stomach issue where if I took a deep breath my back muscles would feel really tired and exerted. I ended up getting a breathing test done and they said my breathing was normal and it could be a structural issue. Funny enough I was going home and ate something on the way and I could feel something dislodge and I've felt better ever since. It sounds kinda unbelievable but that's how it went away.

Anyway, I've been feeling a lot better lately: I have a new, better paying job, I moved in with my girlfriend and I've been honing my interests a lot more, and spending more time with people that value my company. While I'm very ambitious and somewhat egotistical in the sense that I believe I can achieve many things, it's still somewhat rough in the sense that my outlook on life is still kinda bleak. Being agnostic doesn't really help and I still have a profound fear of injury and illness and losing loved ones. The issue is finding a sense of purpose and how I'm afraid of being a meaningless, mindless drone in society that never had a positive effect on people or things. It reminds me of the Monty Python sketch in the Meaning of Life where two organ collectors asked a living person to donate. When she did not, they played the universe song, which I thought was so spot on.

Different things work for different people but if I feel like crap I like to read inspirational quotes or anecdotes. In particular I really liked How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Both very different books but both excellent reads.

 

[maplesyrup]

Sugar and glutens totally affect my kid's moods. - We try to avoid both when we can. One of my kids in fact is scheduled for an alergy test for glutens.

 

[BlueWhiteBlood]

I would be interested to know how you guys are doing in respect to your physical self. Do you engage in regular physical activity? Are you fit or out of shape?

I can relate to a lot of the feelings expressed here back when I was overweight. The combination of nutrition and physical exertion has done wonders for my own personal happiness. I notice, on days that I get my morning workout in, I am in a much better mood throughout the day then days that I take off.

The biggest thing for me health wise, was that chronic pain came with the depression. I feel much better with the depression, however the anxiety and the chronic pain appear to be a daily battle.

I got myself off the Effexor about 2 years ago, which I must say, was one of the hardest meds I ever quit. I gradually went off them, but it seems you can't go slow enough with that one, it was one of the worst experiences of my life and I'll never take it again.

The chronic pain is there everyday and will probably stay, because I have lumbar disc issues as well, but when the anxiety comes, it makes the physical pain that much more severe. I'm on pain meds every day and will most likely have to stay on them, however I have thus far avoided the really heavy opiates and am taking one that is a synthetic opiate, with a acetaminophen base, that works wonders with no ill effects.

At this point, I'm not sure you can ever really completely shake anxiety in your life, it is a daily obstacle. Depression on the other hand, seems like it can be adverted, when you get a hang on how to deal with it, or you just feel better about life.

 

[Rick C.]

Great BWB, I'm on an xtra lArge dose of Effexor, and Clonazepam, and Ritalin, and Cipralex, and Seroquel.

Walking for 30 mins daily is supposed to be great for depression, altho I'm honestly too depressed to leave the house to walk...