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The Official Complaint Thread!

The parents of a friend of my kid's at their school are going through a divorce... We're sort of friendly with both parents but I wouldn't classify  either of them as "friends." The mom is seeking sole custody and the dad just asked us to write a letter outlining his involvement with the kid.  >:(

To make matters worse, the mom will be joining my wife as a part-time lunch monitor at the school this year.

My initial feeling is "wow, this guy has some nerve." I don't want to go anywhere near this thing. I mean, I think I'd pull out all the stops in the fight for my kids too so I completely understand and everything but what do I do? I don't want to get in the middle of this but on the other hand, I don't want to be a jerk.

I'm thinking of just telling him that for the sake of out children's friendship, we should just stay out of it. Is this the correct approach?   
 
That's tricky Sgt. I have no idea what I'd do. Depends on how well you know the kid and whether you can accurately talk about the dad's involvement. If you're just asking to tell the truth, I can't see it hurting either way. Though of course the mother will wish you dead.
 
He's asking us to outline how often he picks his daughter up and goes to school events, etc... So no, he's not asking us to lie but you nailled it... Why piss off the mom? I just have no idea.  :-\
 
Sgt said:
He's asking us to outline how often he picks his daughter up and goes to school events, etc... So no, he's not asking us to lie but you nailled it... Why piss off the mom? I just have no idea.  :-\

"How would I know how often you pick up your daughter and go to school events?"

er, I think you're right Sarge, just politely stay out of it.
 
This is a toughie. If you do know how often he picks up the child and goes to school events, write the letter *BUT*...do the same for the mother if .you also know that info and give each one of them a copy.

Do not provide any opinion. Simply state how long you have known the couple, how often your kids are together, how often you see each one picking up their child, and school involvement.

 
Thanks guys and gals. I've (we've) decided to just keep out of it. We've actually been able to avoid him for the past few days. In fact, I made eye contact with him the other day and we said nothing to each other. It's probably quite awkward for him too.  I know that eventually, I'm going to have to say something.  :-\
 
So my ex decided to contact me again yesterday. She said she wanted to see what I was up to and was happy with her life and wanted me to be happy too.

SHE DUMPED ME. Why the hell would I be happy that she's happier without me? I'm so confused. Why the hell do people do this? She already knows I don't want to be friends/have contact.

I politely let her know that we handle breakups differently and I'm not interested in talking, it's just not how I operate with exes.

I feel like I'm some kind of science experiment for observation, and now old wounds have opened up again slightly. Jeez.

Anyone else want 2012 to take a hike? Those Mayans really cursed this year for me.
 
Bender said:
So my ex decided to contact me again yesterday. She said she wanted to see what I was up to and was happy with her life and wanted me to be happy too.

SHE DUMPED ME. Why the hell would I be happy that she's happier without me? I'm so confused. Why the hell do people do this? She already knows I don't want to be friends/have contact.

I politely let her know that we handle breakups differently and I'm not interested in talking, it's just not how I operate with exes.

I feel like I'm some kind of science experiment for observation, and now old wounds have opened up again slightly. Jeez.

Anyone else want 2012 to take a hike? Those Mayans really cursed this year for me.

If she calls you again, hang up the phone. You've made it clear you don't want to talk to her, so don't talk to her.

Sarge is right. She is feeling guilty. She doesn't care if you're happy or not. She just wants to ease her own conscience. It was a completely selfish thing for her to do. Use that to your advantage. You don't want to be with a selfish person.
 
TML fan said:
Bender said:
So my ex decided to contact me again yesterday. She said she wanted to see what I was up to and was happy with her life and wanted me to be happy too.

SHE DUMPED ME. Why the hell would I be happy that she's happier without me? I'm so confused. Why the hell do people do this? She already knows I don't want to be friends/have contact.

I politely let her know that we handle breakups differently and I'm not interested in talking, it's just not how I operate with exes.

I feel like I'm some kind of science experiment for observation, and now old wounds have opened up again slightly. Jeez.

Anyone else want 2012 to take a hike? Those Mayans really cursed this year for me.

If she calls you again, hang up the phone. You've made it clear you don't want to talk to her, so don't talk to her.

Sarge is right. She is feeling guilty. She doesn't care if you're happy or not. She just wants to ease her own conscience. It was a completely selfish thing for her to do. Use that to your advantage. You don't want to be with a selfish person.

Yeah I think you're right. I just don't know why she would be curious in the first place. I mean, really? People contact people out of guilt? This is so beyond my own function as a human being. I contact you because I want to talk to you, not for guilt trip reasons.
 
Bender said:
TML fan said:
Bender said:
So my ex decided to contact me again yesterday. She said she wanted to see what I was up to and was happy with her life and wanted me to be happy too.

SHE DUMPED ME. Why the hell would I be happy that she's happier without me? I'm so confused. Why the hell do people do this? She already knows I don't want to be friends/have contact.

I politely let her know that we handle breakups differently and I'm not interested in talking, it's just not how I operate with exes.

I feel like I'm some kind of science experiment for observation, and now old wounds have opened up again slightly. Jeez.

Anyone else want 2012 to take a hike? Those Mayans really cursed this year for me.

If she calls you again, hang up the phone. You've made it clear you don't want to talk to her, so don't talk to her.

Sarge is right. She is feeling guilty. She doesn't care if you're happy or not. She just wants to ease her own conscience. It was a completely selfish thing for her to do. Use that to your advantage. You don't want to be with a selfish person.

Yeah I think you're right. I just don't know why she would be curious in the first place. I mean, really? People contact people out of guilt? This is so beyond my own function as a human being. I contact you because I want to talk to you, not for guilt trip reasons.

She doesn't want you to feel bad because it makes her feel bad. She said she is happy, but that's only partly true. She is happy to be out of the relationship but unhappy that she had to hurt you in the process. She wants to know for her own piece of mind that you are doing well so she can tell herself that you aren't upset with her. That's the only reason she keeps calling you. She doesn't like the idea that someone could be mad at her, or that someone is hurting because of her. That's her problem though, not yours.

Like I said, if she calls again, hang up the phone. It doesn't do you any good to keep talking to her when it's clearly not what you want, and it's not your responsibility to soothe her conscience.


 
Indeed, sounds like a bonus night opportunity there and the closure is...you get to tell her afterwards, that it means nothing, as you leave with her looking like a painters radio.
 
Bullfrog said:
Maybe she's realizing she made a mistake, because Bender, you da man!

This. Maybe, she's not really happy, she's just trying to convince herself she is by talking to the last person that actually made her happy. Who knows? Girls can be messed up like that.
 

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